The Winter
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: Sam prepares to the leave the safety of the library and go to the ghost ship to get medicine for Laura. He tries to find the words to say goodbye to her, but finds it difficult since he is still unwilling to acknowledge just what could happen.(badsummary


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. This story has been inspired by the song "My Last Breath" by Evanescence

A/N: So, I'm babysitting right now so I have no access to any of the other stories I've been writing, but I suddenly felt the urge to write. I guess that's what happens when you have one eye on a 2-year-old boy and one ear listening to Evanescence. Anyway, if this story is a little scattered, that's why. Anyway, I hope that everyone enjoys this story and, as always, please review.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I miss the winter, a world of fragile things."

-Evanescence, "My Last Breath"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Though it was almost hard to believe, Sam Hall realized the small room in the Public Library, which had slowly become a dwindling refuge, was getting even colder. He wondered if it had been a slow change, one he just hadn't recognized because his mind was heavy with other thoughts, but either way, the room was freezing, even more so then before and Sam's teeth chattered.

Shivering and pulling the heavy coat tighter around his shoulders, Sam turned away from the low burning fire –which was in need of a few more books- and let his eyes roam the room in front of him. The lights were dim and it was almost difficult to see anything outside the flickering fire light but he could just barely make out the shapes of several other people who had taken shelter in the library days ago. Elsa, the woman from Memphis, was leaning against one of the chairs with her draws drawn up to her chin, shivering and sniffing, as though she was trying desperately not to cry. Beside her, Jeremy was flipping through the brittle pages of some heavy book he'd been clutching, trying to ignore Elsa because sometimes it hurt too much to acknowledge what was going on.  
After leaving Elsa and Jeremy, Sam's eyes settled on his best friend, Brian Parks, struggling to tie on the broke backs of two chairs, which now served as snow shoes. And beside him, J.D. Walters was rubbing his hands together, as though that would help get rid of the stiffness in them. Sam had been trying that for days and his fingers still felt icy and brittle and he had started worrying about frostbite.Though, all thoughts about his own health problems weren't important anymore, having been replaced by worries for the one person that meant anything to him anymore. Sam's eyes quickly traveled through the darkness and found the still body of Laura Chapman, the girl of his dreams, the girl who had stolen his heart.There hadn't been any change in Laura's condition in the past hours, as though Judith's discovery of just what was wrong with her had somehow sealed her fate and made recovery impossible. However, Sam was trying very hard to believe that wasn't the case, that there was still something he could do to save the beautiful girl in front of him.Shivering again, Sam left the relative warmth of the fire and knelt down in front of Laura, his knees bumping against the couch, and he gently ran the tips of his fingers across her cheek. Despite the cold, her cheeks were hot and feverish and he felt his heart sink back into that cold pit in his stomach that had been developing ever since Laura couldn't be roused that morning.Laura shivered and murmured something in her sleep, twitching as though she was trying to roll over on her side. But she remained where she was, as though she were too weak to even move slightly. Sam pulled the window curtain, which was now the heaviest blanket in the room, free from her fingers and tucked it up higher around her chin. Almost instantly, Laura pulled the blanket down again, wrapping her fingers around the edges.  
Sam was surprised when he smiled slightly, feeling his heart lift a little bit again; her actions were certainly an improvement. She hadn't even moved for the past several hours and, for the first time in those hours, he knew that there was still hope, that Laura was going to be all right after.The faint smile still on his lips, Sam ran his fingers along her cheek once again, feeling her forehead, which was just as hot as her cheeks. Chilly beads of sweat had collected at her hairline and Laura shivered again, as though she were no where near as hot as her skin."Don't worry." Sam murmured, his lips brushing against her warm forehead. "You're going to be all right. I promise."Laura mumbled something again and her eyes fluttered open for a moment before closing again. A raspy sigh escaped her lips and she tried to roll over again, though she still didn't have the energy to do so. Sam stared at her for a moment, willing her to open her eyes again, to see him, to help him believe that she was going to be okay.But she remained still, motionless, as she had before, her breathing hoarse and raspy as it passed over her chapped lips. Laura shivered again and Sam wished that there was something, anything, he could do to make her all right again."I'll be back soon." Sam assured her, though he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. Laura couldn't hear him where she was. "And I'll have medicine, to make you well again."With a heavy breath, Laura's eyes opened again and she stared for a moment, as though seeing through a fog, unsure of where she was. Sam stared right back at her, surprised and suddenly unable to find anything to say, unable to even move. It was as though the slightest movement would make everything change, go back the way it had been moments earlier."Sam?" Laura's voice was hushed and raw, as though she had been speaking too much lately instead of not speaking at all. Her eyes closed again, as though they were too heavy to keep open and she seemed to sigh again.Finally, Sam found himself able to speak. "Yeah, Laura, it's me." He rested his fingers against her cheek once more and she shivered. His fingers were cold to the touch.  
Laura's lips moved but, for a moment, no sound came out. Finally, she whispered, "What's going on? Where am I?"Sam took her hand, intertwining their fingers together. "You're in New York, in the library." He told her, his voice low and steady, though he didn't feel that way at all. "Don't you remember what happened?"There was a long silence and Sam feared that Laura had left him again, slipped back into her private darkness. But then she spoke again. "I remember." She swallowed, her lips and throat dry. "What's going on?" She asked again.Sam couldn't figure out what she was referring to; if she remembered what had happened, why they were in the library, then why was she asking? Then he realized Laura wasn't talking about that at all, but what had happened to her. "Judith says that you've got blood poisoning." He told her, hating every word that came out of his mouth. Teenage girls weren't supposed to get blood poisoning, especially not the one that he loved.  
Laura's eyes fluttered open once more and Sam thought she was going to ask what that meant, just what was happening to her, but he remembered she had actually paid attention in health class. It killed him to think that she knew just what was happening to her, what could happen. For a moment, she looked scared, lost and hopeless and Sam wanted to pull her to him. But that moment passed, replaced by exhaustion once more and she shut her eyes again."That ship outside has medicine on it." Sam told her, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to get some. You're going to be all right."Laura's lips moved soundlessly again. "I don't want you to go." She murmured, wetting her cracked lips with her tongue. She shivered again and pulled the curtain higher onto her shoulders, like Sam had tried to do for her before."What?" Sam questioned, surprised. "Why not?" He didn't really expect an answer. "Laura, without medicine, you could…you could get worse." He couldn't bring himself to say the words that Judith couldn't say earlier, especially not to Laura.After what appeared like great effort, Laura opened her eyes once more and looked at Sam. "You said," she swallowed again and sighed, "you said not to go outside." It seemed too difficult to say more then that. "You said that if we went outside we'd die." Her eyes searched his, as though daring him to lie to her. "I don't want you to go."

Sam kissed her forehead again, holding her hand tightly; he wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to do something other then sit there helplessly and hold the hand of the girl he loved. It just wasn't fair, something like this couldn't happen to someone as caring and lovely as Laura, it just wasn't right. Here she was, dying and caring more about her safety then her own.

"This is different Laura." Sam told her, feeling his throat get tighter with every word. "You have to have medicine."Laura's eyes fluttered but did not close. "No Sam." She told him, quite forcefully for someone in her position. "I won't let you go."Sam forced himself to give her a crooked smile. "I don't think you can stop me." Laura didn't seem to find his words amusing, which was all right with him because he didn't either. He hated to see her like this, pale and dying, barely able to speak when she had been so full of humor and life just days before. It wasn't fair.Laura was silent for a while, her eyes closed again and the only sound that passed her lips was her raspy breathing. Sam thought she had fallen asleep again, but she surprised him by speaking. "I used to live in Maine." She mumbled, trying to shift her position but remaining where she was. Laura sighed, a slight whimpering sound escaping her lips as she squinted her eyes shut tightly; Sam held her hand. "Before my dad left."  
Sam nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him, and realized that she had no idea what she was talking about. That revelation worried him far more then anything else, because he knew that delirium was usually the last stage before the person slipped into a coma; sometimes, he wished his mother hadn't been a doctor. He didn't want to know how long it would be before his love fell into a coma.

"It snowed there a lot too." Laura continued voice scratchy and low. Sam wished that he could pretend that the snow outside was natural. "In the winter." She smiled faintly. "It's crazy, but I miss the snow. I miss being able to walk in it and make snowballs."

Sam kissed the knuckles on her hand. "I know baby." He told her. "There's plenty of snow outside." He didn't know what good that would do, telling her that, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.Laura's smile disappeared and she fell silent and he knew, without a doubt, that she had fallen asleep again, though he wasn't quite sure he could call her state 'sleep.' Sam just didn't think he could bare to say she had fallen unconscious once again.Sam stared at her for a moment, shocked by just how fragile she looked at that moment. His Laura, so fragile and breakable, lost in a darkness he couldn't yet rescue her from. Not yet, but he sure as hell was going to try."I love you, Laura." Sam whispered, kissing her forehead once again. He was surprised at how easily the words had slipped from his mouth, after he had spent months trying to gain the courage to even say more then a simple 'hello' to her. But he had said them now and he knew they were true.In her delirium, Laura mumbled something that Sam prayed was 'I love you too' and was almost certain it was. He remained where he was, knelt beside her, holding her sweaty hand in his, for a while, just how long he didn't know. But when he finally stood, letting go of her head, it nearly broke his heart. "I'll be back soon." Sam promised.Sam joined J.D. and Brian at the door and neither of them said anything for a while; then, Brain opened the door, exposing the tiny room to the cold library beyond and stepped outside.Before joining his friends, Sam looked over his shoulder, taking a final glance at his beautiful, fragile Laura, before stepping into the winter beyond. 


End file.
